what to do when your husband wants a three some

My husband is obsessed with a threesome - but even the guy he wants it with thinks it's a bad idea!

Question - (22 November 2008) half dozen Answers - (Newest, 23 Nov 2008)
A female United Kingdom historic period 41-50, anonymous writes:

Recently my married man has become obsessed with having a MMF threesome after reading diverse magazines and online sites about it, and he insists we should take it as information technology volition make our wedlock stronger. He besides wants me to slumber with his best friend (who we socialise with a lot!). His best friend'southward single, and we've often socialised with him and his various girlfriends he'south had - although he doesn't want a human relationship at the moment. I've known his best friend every bit long as I've known my husband. My husband insists if we have threesomes, they must Only be MMF threesomes, no other women involved.

I told him explicitly "NO" but he insisted I was mad non to refuse.A week later, I was driving home from work, and his best friend waved to me, so I stopped in a side road and asked him nigh his day, how his life is doing etc. I so told him I had something private to ask him, so I picked him up in the car, and then went to his house and I told him almost my husband's plan and he said to me:"What?? That'southward just one bad idea. I mean, y'all're my best friend's wife, and he's trying to get you to slumber with me. That's low, really low, and vile to say the to the lowest degree."He said he was happy to be friends with me and no more. He also thanked me for being such a good friend, and for letting him know nearly this. He saidI haven't told my husband yet that I spoke to his all-time friend well-nigh it, should I do this??Please help me, Patricia

View related questions: best friend, friend's wife, threesome

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A male person reader, DoubleMUnited States  +, writes (23 November 2008):

DoubleM agony aunt Stick to your "guns" almost this, every bit we might say in Texas. A threesome would be extremely destructive to your marriage because your values are skillful and true. Personally, I have ever declined any kind of similar offers - many of which were more like private invitations from friend'south wives or girlfriends, and I will die knowing that I rightfully declined every time. That kind of thing is wrong and very messy.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008):

Here'south a thought...if you told your married man "what if I fall in love with your best friend? will you be able to handle that?" that doesn't sound like making a marriage stronger.

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A female person reader, helpjayneUnited Kingdom  +, writes (22 November 2008):

helpjayne agony aunt don't feel pressured into a threesome cause your husband wants to see yous get hot with his mate. tell him you've asked his mayte privately and he agrees that it would be awkward. i hateful your husbands not the simply guy who likes mmf but it should exist your say so, and he shouldn't proceed asking. tell him no means no and he's acting like a child asking again and again. i think y'all shouldn't practise it if yous feel at all abit weird about this and your husbands friend,i hateful if your a actually adept mayte to his friend it volition ruin it completely because you'fifty be thinking constantly that he's seen you nakid and everything. goodluck with this. x

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A female person reader, MissUniqueUnited Kingdom  +, writes (22 November 2008):

MissUnique agony aunt Y'all've already told him no, only he's still insisting? Wow, that'south pretty selfish. Tell him you feel really uncomfortable about the whole thing and he tin have his fantasy in his head if he wants to, merely don't await it to become reality. Ask him why won't he consider you're feelings hither? He's only thinking almost himself. Good Luck Patricia :)

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A female reader, TeacakeUnited States  +, writes (22 November 2008):

Teacake agony aunt The merely affair that makes a marriage stronger is when a husband with serious issues deals with them honestly. Equally others have said, fantasy never turns out well. Also, he is total of it to say it will make the wedlock stronger. It volition practice the opposite. It will just brood sickness of the soul. He needs assist and it is very sad that he wants to elevate yous into a ill world. If this isn't resolved in a few months, if he seems to be getting stranger... yous might need to separate for a while and so he can get his caput on direct. You lot are wise to question the strangeness of this. Good luck!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2008):

For one thing, fantasies never turn out the way you lot meet them in you heed. Reality always tends to backlash! That's why fantasy is cracking it always works the way the person wants it too! Not so in real life! Y'all and your human being's friend should stick to you principles and refuse to go along with information technology. A threesome just works if all 3 participants are willing. If you lot (or the friend) have any apprehension, don't start anything that could shatter your world! And Yes, I would tell your hubby, that you ran into his friend and you told him about your husbands idea. Tell your husband that fantasies are meant to be kept just that...FANTASY! Best of Luck! I will exist watching for follow-ups on this situation...experience free to contact me personally if need be!

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